The Re-Write Process

I just posted this on my Facebook site and figured it should maybe go here, too:

You "really" want to know what's on my mind? Okay, I'll show you:

"David Arris and his team raced dawn to the earth. The sun was barely slivering above the eastern horizon as he and his teammates ripped through 20,000 feet on their way to zero. They were falling like angels cast down from heaven, clad in HALO suits and armed with modernity's most lethal weaponry, and their intent was to destroy a group of the faithful. Not because God had ordered it, but because man had."

This is the first paragraph to the sequel to The Divine World, and I'm unhappy with the first sentence because it just doesn't seem strong enough. Suggestions? And, yes, I've re-written the entire paragraph multiple times to get to this point. This is the life of a fiction writer... at night...

So, Yeah, I'm obsessing on the first sentence of the story.

Of Monsters and Men

w00t!

I just love that "word." Anyway, the first draft of the sequel to The Divine World is "officially" done. Comes out around 27,000 words, which is - I dunno - 105 pages of 8X11 paper? I'll spend the rest of the month going through the notes and cleaning it up, but the story is basically done, so there won't be any worries about a major re-write of some aspect. Probably.

Smiley emoticon.

Yeah, I wrote "smiley emoticon" instead of inserting a "smiley emoticon." Just because.

It's short because, as I think I've said, I'm trying something different. I'm going to write the stories out as a serial rather than as a series of novels. This means the stories will be shorter, but more focused, with less filler material. "Of Monsters and Men" is basically 24 hours in the life of David Arris on a mission that goes wrong - again - once the supernatural elements of the world intrude. And Nereika has her own timeline separate from Arris'.